what does it matter
if i don’t know the words
for every single event that happens in my life
if i don’t have the definition for
all the feelings ripping my heart asunder
everything i wanted is in the melody
of the song flowing through the wires of my earphones
i’m still using this old technology that keeps me tied
to a past i miss but that i don’t want to go back to
and i hate labels
i hate that i never come up with the right answers
i hate that words sound so jumbled when I mouth them
i don’t know if it’s a language barrier
or a cultural barrier or my inability to speak like a proper adult or it’s because i drool like a child
or it’s because i think too much but never about the right things and i always chose the wrong moment
like that time i sent a message to a guy and he never replied maybe he thought i was nuts
maybe i am— you gotta be nuts
to stay sane through this mess
this junk
this brothel
this disease
this STD
this rotten fruit
this spoiled part of the universe
where we disrupt ourselves
scattered like the mice in the sewers of New York
or the salt your grandma tosses over her shoulder for good luck
self medicate in superstition and star signs
and essential oils and non-prescription vitamins
and smoothies and the Kardashians at night
blowing ourselves up on the treadmill in the background of some influencer/wanna-be New Age something something taking selfies in front of the mirror
praising consumerism
consumption
communism
corporate
commercial
commodity
(cum)
come
come here and shush
we don’t want to disturb the demons
livin’ under the dirty seats making company to
the chewing-gums
hopes and dreams and foods for thoughts how about the whole World goes mute
would we then be able to listen more to one another to be more aware
to look into each other’s eyes
to hold hands
to hold on
now i beg your pardon
i think the next stop is mine but i’m gonna miss it ‘cause i’m
too shy to walk myself through this mob and maybe i’ll find
a new passage to a reality that fits me more
a fork at the end of the underground tunnel
and instead of taking one of the two roads i’ll go straight where the honest love wins all the hands
and the music never stops playin’
you know i am made of Love
i was made to Love
it’s the ancient story where all us Lovers
are made reckless and unhappy
eternal children dying as sacrificial lambs
like Jesus Christ and all our heroes
perhaps it’s better to die young
‘cause there’s no time to corrupt your soul
and if this World has nothing good to give me it’s fine
slash my skin and boil my brains
i won’t take it personally
just take care of my heart
it’s scarred but it keeps beating…
oh i should have taken the cab.
