Not long ago, I found these lonely pieces,
longing for a connection, they wanted to become whole.
As they wished, I connected the pieces
with careful hands, I built the puzzle
And it brought us joy, But…
I don’t know about you, but when I close my eyes,
I find myself tangled in a memory.
Tangled in threads of the good old days
when it was the four of us… (Our good old days)
Just to avoid the pain this blighted puzzle has brought me
– – – –
Did anybody notice someone was missing?
in this frame?
Or were you just fine together….
Additional pieces were added to my puzzle
Your edges and mine, they warped into a different picture
And I didn’t mind, in fact, I thought
“The more the merrier”
But it blighted our vibe and
I’m the punchline of your inside joke
An outsider in my
I wonder if you miss me…
When you tell my jokes to your new friends
Or when your thumb is hovering over my name,
Itch itch itching to text me when you need my aid
Maybe its wishful thinking but…
In the past… everyone had trouble adding my number to group chats
But when it came to physics, no one seemed to have trouble hitting send.
Thinking back, I guess… now that we don’t take the same classes anymore,
You have no need to ask “How are you?”
“You want to hang?”
Or wish me a “Happy Birthday”
I guess I hate the thought of not knowing if you miss (ed) me
Cause if you didn’t… then I was your overused tool
and that would mean my wall of polaroids all carry a lie
Carrying tainted film
Now that I’m outside the picture frame, I view our picture in a different lens
I question if the laughs we shared…
Were because you found my humor funny, or me?
The plans we all made…
Did you enjoy my company or… were you trying to satisfy your morals?
When you cried for my help,
Did you really need it or… were you looking for a maid to clean up your schedule for the weekend?
It must be the latter… because every school trip, I end up sitting next to an empty seat watching you all cackle
When we walk as an entourage… I was pushed to the side
– – – – – – – – –
This picture I thought was perfect,
Was blight trapped in a frame
The cliché that a picture is worth a thousand words hits differently through this lens…
The thousand words I see in this blighted film is
- Kindness is weakness…
You all perceived me as complacent and took advantage
- Saying “No” will guide me to genuine friends
Because saying yes made things worse with you
- I now know the role I played in our group
The safety net.
Well… I’ve woven my net loose,
So, if it’s a net you need, I advise you not to fall into mine.
– – – –
My edges have eroded and become bent,
I learned a lot from our group and
I simply don’t fit.
In this Forbidden Puzzle
Anisah Khan has been writing for the past seven years. At first, it started as a hobby until Anisah became a regional and national award-winning writer in the Scholastic Arts and Writing Competition. She discovered writing is her passion and launched her website to publish her pieces. Anisah also posts her blogs that document her writing journey. To read more of her pieces or blogs, follow her on Instagram @nisahsaudio and visit her website Nisahsaudio.com
Featured Image by Jordan Bigelow on Unsplash