Trigger warning: mention of death and implication of suicide and self harm
Imagine how the cellos would sound,
The way they’d play to six men walking me down.
Imagine the regrets that would fill the room,
The way they’d cry for what they said instead of
What they didn’t say.
I went to one of those and only thought of
What I’d done instead of
What I didn’t do.
What I shouldn’t have done.
Imagine if they could see me now,
Imagine the rush that would sweep the room
To get to me,
To take away the gun from me
And say the things they wanted to say.
Imagine the crowds that’d gather in my name,
All the attention I wanted,
The flowers I’d sought,
Right there for me,
In my peek of fame
That set me free.
They’d walk me down the aisle,
Thinking depression wasn’t her lifestyle,
‘Cause it was a mixture of things like
Feeling invisible, fictional,
Like my very presence made me criminal.
She was selfish.
This will never not be unforgivable.
M.M. Cochran is a YA writer and author of Between the Ocean and the Stars (summer 2022). With an educational background in English and creative writing, she has worked in the journalism industry, as well as the agenting and publishing industry, and she is currently a freelance book editor for her service, Elegant Editing. Now pursuing a career in publishing and becoming a full-time novelist, she spends most of her time editing and writing in her novels. Meanwhile, you can find M.M. collecting coffee mugs or slipping into an oversized sweater, wishing for a white winter.
Featured Image by Chi Nguyen Phung on Unsplash