my daughter was born
I feel I was born
with a full head of hair,
torn between a heart full of love,
an adorable laugh–
a mind of malice–
who knew the cherub
a lifelong match of
would become such a
tug of war rips open
royal pain in the ass?
an existential callus.
“your twenties are the age
“I’m in my twenties now.
to be selfish.”
I wasn’t raised to be selfish.”
but I never got to finish
but I never learned to relish
what I started before
in what I accomplished
I veered my ship to
or learned who my true
uncharted territory.
self really was.
I don’t need to hate her
I don’t need to hate her
just intimidate her,
just imitate her, adulate her,
then maybe I can relate to her.
then maybe I can relate to her.
she’s got the best of me
she rejected me,
and the best of him.
so I embodied him.
what kind of stroke of luck
how did her blame
did she manage to win?
turn to shame residing within?
she garners attention
I know misogyny’s outdated,
without intention
female comparison’s overrated.
of entrancing those in her path
I was born to shine on my own;
without exemption.
insecurity’s not worth the shade.
she’s got the worst of me
I am more than the parts of them.
and the worst of him.
got his zeal, her charisma,
I know all of the spots that hurt.
my interpretation: an enigma.
where, oh, where do I begin?
I am the teachers, coaches, writers, and leaders
putting on the pressure, refining just right
to form a gem.
damn, it feels good to be me.
Kailani is an amateur writer. She writes for the love of writing. It is her sincerest form of expression—a way to put her wide-ranging ideas and life experiences into something cohesive. As a clinical therapist, she helps others find, listen to, and use their voice. And her writing is her voice. The world as she experiences it is her inspiration, and her love of personal flair fuels her style. She doesn’t think she’s to write the next great American novel, but she’s to write something. Stay curious.
Featured image by Vince Fleming.
