my days are a calendar of pain.
my nights are like a thousand pins, embedding
themselves into the succulent graves on my tongue.
where did life go when i wanted to live?
where was living when i yearned and needed to feel alive?
everyday on my calendar of pain has a bad habit of nestling
inside me without permission, and nights are
a kissing shadow of tribulations and mourning the loss of
yet another life that continues without existence.
shrouded in blankets of solitude, or sinking
into something empty, i still want to live. to move forward.
time, for me, is standing at a standstill. waiting,
waiting for me to catch up.
i am re-birthing myself, and writing all of these poems, & breathing them
life, & making them fly. maybe everything will
make sense & break free from the museless and emptiness
of days and nights words can’t birth.
i am un-knotting myself and drawing each breath. maybe everything will bring
me back to life or maybe this end is just the beginning
of another end, and when the time comes, i will live again.
Mahbubat Kanyinsola Salahudeen is a genre-bending writer from South Western Nigeria who has a great interest in fictional prose and confessional poetry. She has works featured/forthcoming at several places including Spillwords magazine, Brittle Paper, Ice Lolly, Arts Lounge, SprinNG journal, Litround journal and elsewhere.
Featured Image by Syh on Unsplash
