The Beginning of Another End

my days are a calendar of pain.

my nights are like a thousand pins, embedding

themselves into the succulent graves on my tongue.

where did life go when i wanted to live?

where was living when i yearned and needed to feel alive?

everyday on my calendar of pain has a bad habit of nestling 

inside me without permission, and nights are 

a kissing shadow of tribulations and mourning the loss of 

yet another life that continues without existence.

shrouded in blankets of solitude, or sinking

into something empty, i still want to live. to move forward.

time, for me, is standing at a standstill. waiting,

waiting for me to catch up. 

i am re-birthing myself, and writing all of these poems, & breathing them 

life, & making them fly. maybe everything will

make sense & break free from the museless and emptiness

of days and nights words can’t birth.

i am un-knotting myself and drawing each breath. maybe everything will bring

me back to life or maybe this end is just the beginning

of another end, and when the time comes, i will live again.

Mahbubat Kanyinsola Salahudeen is a genre-bending writer from South Western Nigeria who has a great interest in fictional prose and confessional poetry. She has works featured/forthcoming at several places including Spillwords magazine, Brittle Paper, Ice Lolly, Arts Lounge, SprinNG journal, Litround journal and elsewhere.

Featured Image by Syh on Unsplash