I never thought over affection had an over effect that could ruin
a special feeling for someone
who it is for, they know only,
it is never going to fade away
But it will leave the deepest scar
for a lifetime.
“It happened to me,” and like me,
Many who have gone through it
(or been to it)
are affectionate to a life
that was so close to me
we never even had a small fight.
Time changed everything between us “I couldn’t even blink,” and in that moment I remembered when that life moved far away from me, and I could not do anything.
“I am too numb.”
I am too emotionless
because I couldn’t react.
What happened with me and
what happens to me
I am still thinking of.
(Everything looks like it happened just a second ago.)
I haven’t moved on yet,
I can’t accept or digest
what has happened, what I never thought would happen.
But why to me, who has never done anything wrong to anyone?
“Always being on the path of truth, honesty, and loyalty.”
Why do I have to go through with this unbearable and unforgettable pain?
Why is the only question left after that life gone from my life?
“She”, whom I am talking about.
That pain is the pain of losing the only one for whom I have fallen
Truly, madly, and deeply in love with in my life.
I loved her, and I love her more than anyone or anything.
She was everything, and she is everything to me.
I never thought for whom I was living, never wanted to live alone.
I could not understand why she said those three words
that can kill anyone.
Those words for which any life can live even after death
Those words that she said: “it’s over”.
(I was living on the words ‘I love you’.)
Initially, I thought
it is real, or I am dreaming?
Everything inside me remained dark to the outside world, chaotic and silent.
I couldn’t even imagine in my dreams that
it was real, and it’s over.
(“It’s over” means the break-up.)
As time passed it made me realize that
“Break-up” means no more love,
“No more love” means
I will never see my love again in my life,
It means you are not going to come back to me, which hits me hard, breaks my heart.
I am not going to come up out of it.
Your longing sadness of the past turns out to be a dangerous distraction dome living
the abyss of sadness,
which ruining, thrashing, smashing
and chewing things inside me,
emptying my natural being
and taking away the moment
That you were in.
It is giving rise to the silent life
that I will be
mournful, forlorn, doleful lately regretful about why it happened to me and
why I let it happen to me.
“Nothing will be in your hands.”
You will be the compass by which the intensive reflection and affection of sadness
will make your life look like
“A miserable, mysterious ride that deeply dives in the desperation of consuming, feeding, and breathing sadness.”
“Come out of it sadness is not for you to stop living in such a way.”
Let go of things or someone who is inside you for a long time and wants you to live in such a way doesn’t choose such a way, choose its opposite for yourself and always stay in the present so you don’t miss out on the most happy things in life.
Don’t miss it,
make it yours,
live like you’re loving it,
to feel the happiness inside you.
Which can never die.
Chirayu Writer is from India. He is a writer of poetry, fiction and screenplays and a social media influencer. He has published his debut book, ‘Love of a Writer’ and collaborated in many anthologies, chapbooks and fiction pieces. He writes to express himself.
Featured image by Jakob Rosen on Unsplash
