Your twenties are weird. Everyone said so.
Your thirties are the best. Everyone says so.
Ten years from now, I hope to read this and agree with that statement. My thirties were the best.
It’s difficult not to feel like my twenties were a waste. It feels like you have all the time in the world, but much like Death, its friend, Time also comes knocking. It knocks and it ticks and it tocks and suddenly…
You’re thirty.
For the past ten years, what have you done? What did I do?
Life is a precious gift. Are you wasting it? Am I wasting it?
Here is the challenge: Turning off the lies
The lies that tell us that our value is only placed in what we do, who we know, how we look.
Your life is not a waste. It is a precious, beautiful, one-time gift.
We all have days when we regret not spending our time more wisely. We’re not special when we beat ourselves up over it. But I don’t think anyone regrets spending a long afternoon on a walk with their dog. Or an early morning cup of coffee with their person. Or listening to your new favorite song on repeat, never knowing you learned some of the lyrics wrong until one day someone heard you singing. You don’t regret the laughter that stems from that silly mistake.
In a world that says “Me first, me first, me first!” choose to spend your time putting others first.
Yes, have balance, of course. You need rest. You need some me time. But self-care is not always self-focused. Self-care includes how you spend your life and your time with other people.
I don’t regret a single early morning cup of coffee with a loved one, or taking my dog for a car ride because I know he loves them.
But I do regret plenty of “me time” moments spent endlessly scrolling on social media. I regret being so consumed by calories that I missed out on community. I regret a harsh word spoken in haste, intended to cut someone down to raise myself up.
Funny how none of those things were fulfilling, even though the world tells me that I should be “me” focused. That’s how I ought to spend my time, and then I’ll be happy. I’ll be achieving goals. I’ll be x, y, or z.
Lies.
When I spend my time curled up with a good book and a cozy blanket, that is time well spent. When I spend my time playing with my dog, sharing a meal, crying with a friend, teasing my siblings—that is time well spent.
I only regret the times I said no.
There are several instances in my twenties where I said no. Or I forgot because I didn’t prioritize it.
But there are also many times that I said yes to the meals, the tears, the jokes. And it means I did not pursue “big things” like career goals, writing goals, or fitness goals.
So, yes, I am thirty. I have many goals from my twenties left unfulfilled.
My heart, however, is full.
And I do believe my thirties are going to be the best.
As an author, Alexandra Rexford enjoys writing stories with wit and romance, including a dash of danger. In a perfect world, she would spend all her time writing, reading, sipping hot cocoa, and snuggling with her dogs.
Featured image by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash.
