I came to occupy this space on a Saturday
It was with a force that I came, a push, a shove
Before the summon, I slept in a bag of waters
In my home, I learned to swim, floating this way
and that until my bones began to form, and
my muscles expanded, bigger and bigger
In my home, I drank, drank, and drank,
the fluid passing down my throat
then running down my leg, expelled
I lived then with tranquility, peace
I lived.
When the strangeness paid me a visit,
it did not knock or announce itself
It did not come bearing gifts
I watched, helpless, small and weak as it tore
my home to shreds, piece by piece
I watched as the fluid began to seep out in a constant trickle
I too began to move,
a squirm here, a shuffle there,
a twist, a turn
I moved, moved, and moved, my head steering the descent
while my limbs and torso, treacherous and meek, followed suit
And when the deed was done, the journey complete,
with vision blurry, I came to be
A cold thing, I came to be
A dying thing.
You came to occupy this space on a Monday
It was as the globe spun, a twirl, a whirl,
It was back to Helios,
that you came
Before the birth, you were content with
lining the walls of my mind, my heart, my soul
A keen captive,
a lethal pet
And how I fed you, sweet one, my fingers sticky with
the red paste I painted on your lips, on your tongue as
you licked, sucked, munched
Be gentle and sleep, I whispered,
voice like honey, silk
You did not welcome the deceit, but
you heard what I did not say
I want them to like
Me
I do not want to scare them
Away
The dove will learn, you mused
The dove will learn.
When the lesson knocked, it was with a fury,
a wrath I could not escape
Not with the way it held me down,
wrists cuffed, ankles chained, chanting
Look, look, look
Then, I had no appetite for truth,
so I turned my face away, eyes shut
When it is tired, it will go
And then we will dance, my lovers and I
And then they will sing inky black lies
But it did not leave
And as night fell and darkness descended,
sour and unsmiling,
terror sat with me
Crept into my thoughts so no more was I cool, calm,
collected
If it does not leave, pain will move in
And when it comes, I will drown
Cuffed, chained, trapped
As I am
My mouth opened in a scream
Deafening, that scream
Please, please, please.
You were seated in the shadows, at home in the dark,
unmoved by my cry for help
resolute
unyielding
You held my hands and spoke,
kind, firm,
sugary-sweet
You need to look, little dove
Look until you see
Look until you meet her, epiphany
She has been waiting, that patient one
You will die, surely
The flesh will burn
To a crisp, it will burn
To the sky, you will run
But you are not ash
Not yet
And they poison you, little dove
They poison you, whether you look
Or not
A dying thing, yes
Not much choice there
But do not let them kill you
You who is not theirs
Not theirs to kill.
Under the night sky, we came to share this space,
to share it so that
once, there was one,
a gibbering one,
a shrinking one,
to share it so that
now, there is two
A potent two
A formidable two.
Evangelle is a lover of words in their entirety, spoken and written alike. In writing, she draws heavily from the world unseen, the spirituality of life and the elements of light and dark. She believes in the elevation of self as the pathway to happiness and true peace. When she is not writing or reading literature, you can find her nose deep in a movie, tv show, or music. To Evangelle, art forms the very center of the human experience, so if you ever lose yourself, all you need to do is follow the art.
Featured image by Olga Kovalski on Unsplash.
